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 Do you ever find yourself asking this question—whether about your health, relationships, finances, or just life in general?
At the end of January, my wife Keri and I had our fourth basement flood in four years. None of them were our fault. One came from a rainstorm that clogged an outside drain, and three were caused by two separate washing machines—both less than three years old.
Each time, the flood destroyed our newly finished basement floors. And just when we thought it couldn't get worse, last summer, after the third flood, our home insurance dropped us—right in the middle of fire season. We were left scrambling, facing the possibility of losing our home entirely.
Luckily, we found high-risk insurance, but the cost was almost double what we were paying before. And here’s the kicker: because it’s a high-risk policy, we can’t even make a claim for three years if we want to get back to good standing. Seriously, what’s the point of insurance if you can’t actually use it? It feels like it only exists to protect the bank's investment, not ours.
So now, this most recent flood is coming entirely out of our own pocket. And to make matters worse, we discovered that the laminate flooring we had installed—on the recommendation of a contractor—was trapping moisture and growing mold underneath it. That meant tearing it all out, treating the concrete with anti-mold solutions like white vinegar, hydrogen peroxide, and Concrobium, and starting over.
At this point, I couldn’t help but ask…
Why Is This Happening to Me?
 The only answer I keep coming back to is: to build character.
And the more I reflect on it, the more it makes sense.
I see this being true for most of the hard things we go through—whether it’s a health crisis, financial hardship, political turmoil, or a painful relationship. Complaining about the problem rarely changes anything. But dealing with it, learning from it, and taking action does.
That doesn’t mean it’s easy. In fact, building character is one of the hardest things we can do because it requires:
1. Facing Discomfort
Growth only happens when we step outside our comfort zone. But let’s be honest—no one enjoys being uncomfortable. Confronting our weaknesses and making tough choices is hard, and many people resist it.
2. Practicing Self-Discipline
Good character isn’t just about what we intend to do—it’s about what we actually do. Staying true to values like honesty, patience, and perseverance requires daily effort and self-control, even when it’s inconvenient.
3. Overcoming Setbacks
Life doesn’t go as planned. Setbacks—like four basement floods in four years—can either break us or teach us resilience. Learning to bounce back and keep going is what builds emotional strength.
4. Taking Responsibility
It’s easy to blame circumstances or other people, but real character comes from owning our actions and choices. That level of self-honesty is tough but necessary for true growth.
5. Committing to Lifelong Growth
Character-building isn’t something you “finish.” It’s ongoing. There’s always room for improvement, and the journey never truly ends.
6. Resisting Short-Term Gratification
In today’s world of quick fixes and instant gratification, doing the right thing instead of the easy thing can feel like an uphill battle. But integrity is built through small, consistent choices.
7. Staying Humble and Open
 To grow, we have to be willing to learn, listen, and admit that we don’t have all the answers. Letting go of pride and embracing lifelong learning is tough—but it’s where the real transformation happens.
Even though building character is hard, it’s worth it. It leads to self-respect, stronger relationships, and a more meaningful life.
So instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?”, maybe the real question should be:
"What is this trying to teach me?"
What about you? What challenges have shaped your character the most? Let me know in the comments.
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